


énoument

by mairieux



Series: time traveller taekwoon [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: 2013 vixx lets go, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Time Travel, happy birthday hakyeon:), taekwoon is ninety percent worried and hakyeon jus lost his fuc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 09:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairieux/pseuds/mairieux
Summary: énoument;(n)the bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past selfHakyeon wants to step down from the position of being VIXX's leader and Taekwoon knows there's no way he can change his mind.





	énoument

**Author's Note:**

> HEY IM BACK! after a month long taking a break from writing im finally back in business babey !
> 
> also here this was supposed to be finished even before hakyeons bday but alas.... nevertheless, i hope you enjoy!

At this point, Taekwoon is sure as hell there’s no other way to change Hakyeon’s mind.

With how Hakyeon’s arms are crossed in front of his chest and he’s leaning his weight on one foot more than the other, standing in the corner of the room and being as stubborn as ever.

It barely works on Taekwoon, for the most part, as his pout chinks Taekwoon’s resolve only in the slightest as he himself stares back as sternly as he can if this is the game Hakyeon wants to play with him.

“I said what I said,” Hakyeon finally says, after a moment, but his arms don’t leave his chest, just tightening even more if it’s the barest thing he can do to feel safe. “And I’m not— _you’re_ not changing my mind.”

Taekwoon snorts softly, his hot breath tickling the top of his lips as he rolls his eyes. He turns away from Hakyeon, for once, deciding to sit straight on his futon instead of craning his upper body just to argue with Hakyeon.

“As if I’m any better,” the younger mutters, hand clutching the flimsy blanket he uses as he tries to even imagine what the future of their group would be if it falls into his hands. “Not like you’re getting what you want, anyway. Imagine what manager-nim and especially the high-ups will think if you suddenly told them you’re giving up the position?”

“So? Taekwoon, even a blind mouse can tell I’m not leader material.” Hakyeon realises that trying to look intimidating against the wall isn’t working on Taekwoon, so he repositions himself and sits on his futon next to Taekwoon’s instead. But Taekwoon, that petty little shit, scoots away so there’s a sizable distance between than usual. “If you’re _so_ sure you’re not fit for the role, then Jaehwan or Wonshik can take it instead.”

“Are you out of your mind?” This is so fucking stupid. “Both of them aren’t as experienced as you— _none of us_ has the same amount of experience as you do, nor the wit you have and, as I hate to admit, the personality to even dream to be the leader.”

“Well you don’t need to dream anymore—I’m handing it to you!”

“ _Hakyeon_!” Taekwoon raising his voice stuns Hakyeon for a moment, something so rare that this is only the second time he’s witnessed it since they’ve debuted six months ago. “Give me _one_ good reason why you should step down from your position.”

“I’m just gonna end up fucking things up.”

His answer makes Taekwoon want to snicker, to laugh at his face by how stupid of a reason it is, yet the laughter dies in his throat before he could even open his mouth. There’s something wrong in the way Hakyeon says those words that Taekwoon is afraid to realise what, and he just clenches his teeth, eyes training far in the opposite direction where Hakyeon is sitting.

“I know I don’t act like I give a shit but—god, the pressure of everyone looking up to you unconditionally, the fact that big decisions will always wait for my answer… I just—it’s so fucking terrifying, Taekwoon. I can barely decide what to wear for the day, how can I make decisions that will inevitably impact our career? I’m trying my best to be positive, but who will I lean to when things get rough even for me?”

“Speaking as if I don’t exist…”

Taekwoon barely glances at him, only to catch Hakyeon shaking his head and looking down. It’s useless, even in this small space of a room where you can walk across the whole floor in less than twenty steps, Taekwoon feels too far from Hakyeon to even try reaching out and hold him.

“I’m thankful for you, Taekwoon,” Hakyeon pauses, closing his eyes, “but it’s not enough. I’m too weak to be the leader. Too overconfident, just to hide my insecurity. I’ll never be able to lead VIXX like this.”

“What does that make us?” He finally answers, turning away the moment Hakyeon opens his eyes again, as the volume of his voice going softer and Taekwoon will never admit it’s because he’s scared Hakyeon will hear the tremble in his voice when he says so. “If you’re not enough then who else would be?”

“I told you, _no one_ has to be good enough, I’m just saying I’m not fit for the role.” 

“Nobody else fits it the way you do, though, have you thought about that?” Taekwoon tries again, but Hakyeon has decided he’s had enough and pulls his blanket over him.

When Taekwoon doesn’t hear him reply, he himself is too adamant trying to look angry that he forces the itch to turn around and face Hakyeon to go away, only sighing silently when the lights are still on.

  


_Ridiculous_ , Taekwoon comments to himself when Hakyeon is still not saying anything, _he’s so stupidly stubborn he can’t even realise how wrong he is. And no one’s convincing him otherwise. We might as well start praying to every god to exist if we’re really hoping Hakyeon’s choice will sway even in the slightest._

He steals one last glance at Hakyeon’s small mound under his blanket, worrying a little if he can breathe under it or if it’ll be too hot. Then again, he’s probably still awake and is just waiting for Taekwoon to turn the lights off.

“Good night, Hakyeon.”

Now that the lights are off, Taekwoon tries to shut away the stress Hakyeon had to cause before bed, the knot between his brows slowly relaxing. He eventually falls into slumber, not without a hint of worry, and Taekwoon hopes, in his last second of consciousness, that tomorrow will be alright.

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


When Taekwoon wakes up, he feels a hand gently petting his hair, and his eyelids feel heavier than usual. There’s a hammering in his head that’s just too unbearable right in the morning, and he makes a small noise of pain. 

The hand stops, and he hears Hakyeon right next to his ear.

“Taekwoonie? Are you okay?”

His eyes are still glued shut, and it takes a lot of energy for him to barely open them. It’s so blurry, and all Taekwoon can see is white light and glossy tiled floors. He takes a moment to adjust himself, trying to figure out what the hell is going on as he remembers very well that he went to bed (maybe a little angry), in their dorm, so he shouldn’t be in some room anywhere else.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Still tired?” Hakyeon’s voice chimes again, and Taekwoon looks at him for once. He doesn’t know what the fuck he just saw but he definitely didn’t need to see Hakyeon in heavy dark eyeshadow right after he just woke up. 

He notices the poster behind Hakyeon, eyes widening in recognition, and he whips around.

Sure enough, their other members are in their respective places—Sanghyuk going over a choreo he can’t recognise in the corner, Hongbin and Jaehwan in the other couch making fun of Wonshik who’s snoring soundly in his chair—he tries his best to ignore the fact that they’re also sporting heavy eyeshadow and wearing costumes he hasn’t seen before, if it saves his sanity, even for a little. 

“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon calls out, the tremble in his voice coming back. “What time is it?”

“Hm? Barely halfway through seven. There’s still half an hour till they announce the winner; why don’t you go back to sleep?”

_This doesn’t make sense. I’m outside with no memory of ever going here. What did he mean by ‘the winner’? We haven’t even released the music video for our next comeback._

“Come on, nap with me more,” Hakyeon is completely oblivious to how terrified Taekwoon is feeling next to him, and he pulls him any closer than they can be in this small couch. “You stayed up so late last night practising, I’m glad you pulled through the performance well.” His hand returns to petting Taekwoon’s hair as if they haven’t argued right before bed, and Hakyeon is acting as if he hasn’t had a single worry going on inside his head, unlike… Unlike how Taekwoon saw him last time.

“How are you feeling?” The younger plays along, leaning closer only because he enjoys the attention he’s getting.

“I’m okay, though I’m nervous,” it’s easy to miss how much more nervous Hakyeon really is, but Taekwoon knows him better than that. Even though he doesn’t know what the hell is going on and how the fuck did he ended up in an Mnet waiting room with his members, it doesn’t change the fact that he can tell when Hakyeon’s starting to feel more worried than usual.

“Why are you nervous?” Taekwoon means it, honestly, because if he does get an answer then maybe he’ll get a chance at understanding the situation better. For now, he watches, a little baffled—at how Hakyeon puffs his cheeks and pinches his arm, making him cry in pain—because _he isn’t_ supposed to react like that.

“What do you mean ‘why am I nervous’?” Not letting go of Taekwoon’s arm, he grouses and makes a show of pinching his own arm with Taekwoon’s hand. “Look! I’m not dreaming! It hurts! Yet I still can’t believe we’re nominated for first place!”

 _Fuh—first place?_ Taekwoon’s eyes stray away for a moment, and finally, he tries to wrap his head around what is happening. _Okay. Okay, I guess this is happening. I’m dreaming, I’m stuck in this limbo where we somehow got nominated for a song I don’t know about and it’s too real._

He returns his eyes at Hakyeon beside him who picked up the tablet sitting in front of them on the table, and Taekwoon catches a glimpse of their performance on the screen, unsure whether he likes what they’re performing or the quality is just too shit for him to have proper judgement.

To be honest, Taekwoon doesn’t know which one is more unrealistic: the fact that he somehow travelled into the future or the fact that they’re nominated for first place. Definitely one of them is more believable, and with the current events happening in where he came from, he can almost say the latter is the answer.

Still, when he steals another look at Hakyeon who’s silently going over their performance, again and again, he looks like he’s having a better day than the Hakyeon he last saw, and for now, that’s enough to calm his heart.

Even when they’re finally ushered to go on stage a few minutes later, and everyone’s knees are close to rattling their joints off, Taekwoon himself despite having no prior knowledge of how things exactly went down, can’t help but feel just as nervous because this _is_ their first time to get nominated for first place and god knows how desperate they are to achieve it.

And, as the name of the winner rolls off the announcer’s tongue and the crowd goes wild, Taekwoon’s knees fall and he’s on the floor, helpless sobs escaping his hand-covered mouth as he tries not to make much of a scene.

He hears Hakyeon speaking into the microphone, saying his thanks, and that’s all Taekwoon bothers to listen to because if Taekwoon is crying like this for their first win, he can barely imagine how overwhelmingly happy Hakyeon must feel.

  


Even if this is really a dream—a product of his anxiety before bed, he’ll still savour it, at least, until he wakes up again.

  


The headache nevertheless comes back, pounding inside Taekwoon’s head like there’s no tomorrow once more, and this time, for sure he’s truly awake and the dream of them winning will be nothing but a mere fantasy and he’s back to trying to convince Hakyeon to think about his decision.

Or so he thought, as when he opens his eyes, he sees the inside of a van he’s very familiar with.

 _Still a dream?_ He pinches himself, and just like how it felt earlier when Hakyeon did it, it fucking hurts. Maybe the saying that you can’t feel pain when you’re dreaming is truly a hoax.

This time, however, when Taekwoon looks down, he sees himself in clothes different from what he wore mere minutes ago. He can’t recognise these clothes either, despite not being a costume because the last time he remembered, he hasn’t got a single pair of ripped jeans inside his wardrobe.

Something vibrates inside his pocket too, making him yelp that he’s just glad it’s only him inside the van.

Since when were they allowed to use phones? Nevertheless, it is just a dream, and they say you dream about your deepest desires. Perhaps it really is just his simple wish to use a handheld phone these days.

As he tries to think of what passcode he could possibly have come up with to unlock his phone, he doesn’t miss the date plastered on the lock screen.

_March 6, 2015_

There’s no way it’s twenty- _fucking_ -fifteen. How on _earth_ can he possibly dream of something taking two years from now? It doesn’t make sense. Even if he’s so worried about the future, it shouldn’t have been enough push for his brain to make something this… This strange? Ridiculous? There’s just no word for it yet Taekwoon absolutely feels so out of place.

He’s still fumbling with the screen as he tries to figure out what his code is, baffled and confused, when someone suddenly opens the van door.

“Jae—Jaehwan…?” Taekwoon’s tongue is in knots, as he tries to hide his astonishment, hoping that _that_ is Jaehwan.

“Oh, hyung, we were just starting to look for where you could’ve been. Why didn’t you tell us you’re heading back first?”

Blinking, Taekwoon finds himself at a loss for words, unable to come up on what to say as he himself has no goddamn idea what the hell he’s doing here. Even the familiar face of his dongsaeng isn’t helping when he doesn’t know how much things have changed since 2013.

“Sorry,” he lamely replies instead, looking down on the floor of the van as he’s scared Jaehwan would sense something’s wrong if he looks at him in the eye even for more than a second.

“Are you still flustered about the encore? Don’t worry about it, even Hakyeon hyung said it wasn’t noticeable,” Jaehwan tells him as he finally climbs in, taking a seat in the row in front of Taekwoon. At least, like this, he couldn’t tell how puzzled Taekwoon’s expression is.

“Well, it was still silly and bold of him to try to kiss you on stage, but hey, he’s saying all he did was peck your cheek. You should’ve seen how manager-nim scolded him!”

The younger has already shifted into a different topic, but Taekwoon’s brain is stuck buffering and processing what Jaehwan told him—kiss? Hakyeon? Him?—it doesn’t add up.

Hakyeon—he still hasn’t seen him. Is he still the leader?

He almost opens his mouth to ask Jaehwan, stopping midway when he realises how fucking strange it’s gonna be if he just asks something like that out of the blue.

Quickly, he comes up with an idea.

“Jaehwan-ah, can you text Hakyeon for me? I dropped something on the ground so I need to find it first,” he makes sure to hand him his phone, lest Jaehwan texts Hakyeon on his phone instead. 

Thankfully he doesn’t catch it, taking Taekwoon’s phone without question. “What do you want me to say?”

“Tell him to just get back here already.”

Now, while pretending like he dropped something so important, he peeks from behind the seats and watches carefully how Jaehwan unlocks his phone. Wait. _06-30-90_. Why the hell is his passcode Hakyeon’s birthday?

Taekwoon returns immediately to his seat after he’s decided long enough he’s starting to look like a fool, just in time for Jaehwan to give him back his phone.

With shaky hands, he takes the phone and immediately unlocks it when Jaehwan turns his back.

_It doesn’t make sense. Why is Hakyeon’s birthday my passcode? That’s so easy to guess…_

Of course, with a brand new phone in front of him, Taekwoon already feels lost and overwhelmed on where to start. He looks at his messages first, and nothing literally looks out of the ordinary. His exchanges with Hakyeon look questionable, but at this point, he’s ready to believe anything he sees without question.

Only when he opens his gallery he actually pauses, breathing going heavy, and he’d say his fingers tremble even more if it’s possible. Something’s going on.

Besides the fact that he is literally seeing pictures of himself that he has no memory of taking; seeing how different they look, how different their dorm looks like… It’s not enough to counter how his emotions start to flare up every time he scrolls past a picture of him and Hakyeon being too intimate.

It’s almost like those ridiculously fake couple photos from women’s magazines, and, strangely enough, he can’t help but have a feeling fondness pooling inside of him when his thumb swipes to another picture of them together.

But… It can’t be. There’s no way they’re dating, right? There’s no way, _there’s no way_ … Or maybe there is? In the first place, Taekwoon doesn’t have enough memory to back it up, as he’s only known Hakyeon for six months in real time. If this is really the future, he really doesn’t have a choice then. It’s not like he’s complaining, anyway.

His thoughts swim inside his head for a little bit more, making him drowsy against the window that he barely wakes up when he finally hears Wonshik and the other’s voices coming in the van.

He faintly hears Hakyeon’s warm voice muttering about how Taekwoon had easily fallen asleep and how carrying him must’ve really tired him, yet Taekwoon couldn’t bother biting back as he’s already being pulled to rest his head on Hakyeon’s shoulder instead, and at this moment, he realises, that this is not the last time.

As always, Taekwoon doesn’t even notice he’s in a different place again until the headache and nausea come back, just like a package, announcing themselves and he doesn’t know whether he should start taking it as a warning at this point.

Strangely enough, unlike the last two, he doesn’t come to his senses by waking up, and when he opens his eyes he sees a hallway instead, in his arms is someone else’s back.

The initial panic strikes up, but he feels the soothing motion of someone gently patting his own back, Taekwoon only now realises that there’s nobody else who could be in this position right now except for one person.

Eager to see him this time, as he just missed him on his last time-skipping, his chest immediately goes off and he feels the blood rushing to his cheeks when he sees Hakyeon in all his beautiful glory in front of him.

The Hakyeon in front of him couldn’t compare to the Hakyeon he saw on his phone, you wouldn’t even _think_ he’s the same person who argued with him right before bed.

Hakyeon is right in his face with his eyelids painted in red eyeshadow, the subtle glitter blinding him in this shitty hallway lighting, yet it all works too well to make him lose his head. He’s wearing a costume that looks far too traditional to be something to be worn on-stage but Taekwoon starts to think otherwise when he sees himself wearing the same clothes.

“Are you okay now?” Taekwoon’s throat literally goes dry when he feels Hakyeon’s hand palm his cheek, gently patting his heated skin that doesn’t go amiss in Hakyeon’s eyes.

“Are… Are you?” The younger forces to choke out, shyly putting his hand on top of Hakyeon’s on his face, his own eyes searching if the anxiety that held Hakyeon down was still present.

“I am,” Hakyeon answers almost too lightly with a smile, as if his words are weightless, “it’s you who I’m worried about. Are you sure you can go on stage?”

“I will be,” Taekwoon replies, but Hakyeon doesn’t look convinced enough, so tries to smile as much as he can, if it helps even a little bit.

“Alright,” he hears him sigh in defeat, taking his hand back but he rests it back on Taekwoon’s shoulder just as easily, “I don’t know if you’re lying to me but—Woonie,” Hakyeon takes his chin with thumb before Taekwoon briefly realises, _oh god, I think this is starting to turn into a wet dream_.

“Woonie,” the other continues as if Taekwoon hasn’t gulped at least fourteen rocks in his mouth, “I know this is the first time we’re performing in something as big as this, but you know I’m here with you, right?”

Rendered completely silent, Taekwoon could barely nod as an answer as he’s afraid his mouth will betray him and say something else, so it’s great Hakyeon accepts his answer. He doesn’t let him go, however, and only now does it dawn on Taekwoon that they’re in fact in an open hallway and anybody could literally see how Hakyeon has been backed up on a wall with his fingers on his chin.

“Such a shame I absolutely cannot kiss you right now,” Hakyeon mutters as he eyes Taekwoon’s own lips tainted with lip tint, “they should’ve used those matte lipsticks instead…”

He quickly looks up at Taekwoon, however, something glinting in his eyes that Taekwoon is almost afraid to describe. Quickly, he makes a grab to pull Taekwoon down for another hug, his warmth enveloping him immediately.

“Taekwoon-ah…” His voice is almost too soft, just a quiet whisper meant for Taekwoon and Taekwoon only. “I’m so glad we’ve gone this far… Thank you.”

  


  


  


Only later, when Hakyeon took him back with their hands locked between their lengthy arm sleeves, Taekwoon is beginning to feel nauseous again as he sees the banner draped across the ceiling, ‘ _Pyeongchang 2018 Olympics_ ’, and it was the last thing he remembers before he feels himself being stretched and pulled until blacking out. 

The next time he opens his eyes, again, his headache is already starting to feel dull and it’s honestly alarming how he’s gotten used to having it. There’s an underlying feeling in his instincts that this is probably his last stop, as he already has an idea when this could be.

Unlike the other times, he wakes up right in the middle of what seems to be a video shooting, as the first thing he sees is the camera up front and staff behind, a small board that seem to list what they must do for the video, and of course, his own members right next to him.

 _Oh god. They’re gonna notice right away something’s wrong with me_ , he realises with enough worry it catches Sanghyuk’s attention beside him. Sanghyuk’s growth spurt stuns Taekwoon for a moment, trying to adjust to the fact that it’s now him who has to look up so their eyes would meet. 

“Where’s—” _Hakyeon_ , he was about to say. But he notices pictures of Hakyeon plastered all over the kitchen, on their appliances, a cutout to boot, and only now he notices how there’s only five of them.

So many conclusions quickly rise inside Taekwoon’s head, some too grim and some the idea of it already is affecting him. 

“I need a break,” he mutters to Sanghyuk, before sliding out of the frame that has the staff immediately calling for him, shouting how he can’t just do that in the middle of filming yet Taekwoon couldn’t care when he has no fucking idea where Hakyeon is.

Compared to last time, the pictures he saw looked too different from the Hakyeon he saw, as if it was even possible for him to change how he looks once again, He eventually finds his backpack in their dressing room, thankfully he brought the worn out one his parents gave him, and fishes for his phone.

His lockscreen makes him pause for a second at least, as it shows a picture of him and Hakyeon holding hands in some street that doesn’t look anywhere in Korea, enjoying ice cream under the bright sun, and most notably, very happy.

He hasn’t changed at all, as his phone just as easily unlocks when he types Hakyeon’s birthday in and gapes when he notices the year. 2019. Six years into the future. 

  


Shit.

  


Desperate, he looks at his messages and images again in hopes to find an explanation on what’s going on, and he slowly falters and falls onto a chair, as he reads more and more past messages and sees their recent photos.

It really shouldn’t have come to him as a shock how Hakyeon enlisted before he skipped to this time, as he himself will inevitably face it, yet he can’t help but feel sad how he won’t get to see him this time.

With one last glance, he checks the date properly, and only now it sinks in how it’s their anniversary—their seventh—and he slows down, finally taking all of that he’s seen for once and breathing in.

 _I wonder what my choice will be_ , he asks himself as he walks back towards the studio where everyone is waiting for him, _will I stay with them? Will Hakyeon stay? Has our relationship as a group progressed to the point it's only natural to stay?_

His phone suddenly vibrates, breaking his thoughts that has Taekwoon disoriented but he checks the message anyway, and sees that Hakyeon’s sister has sent him a text.

**Hakyeon’s noona**  
A new letter from Hakyeonnie  
arrived today. Do you want me  
to send it to you now?  
_1:03 PM_

Before Taekwoon knew it, his own fingers are already typing an answer, eagerly saying yes, and he settles, against the wall just like last time, as he waits for the letter to come.

Thankfully enough, she didn’t take long and immediately sent him a scanned copy of it, and Taekwoon couldn’t believe how fragile he has become when the mere sight of Hakyeon’s handwriting is putting his heart into clutches.

He takes his time reading it, word for word and every minute detail in his sentences that Taekwoon couldn’t help but notice. Has he really become like this or has he been like this all along?

Nevertheless, the answer doesn't matter, as Hakyeon's handwriting slowly fades away from his vision and once again, he welcomes the headache. 

  


At this point, at least, it's safe to say that these headaches really proved him wrong when he once thought nothing will beat how headache-inducing stubborn Hakyeon could be. 

This time, for sure, when Taekwoon wakes up, he knows he's fully back in their shitty, small dorm as he's greeted by the cramped space of the room and his itchy blanket. 

Their digital alarm clock tells him it's literally four in the morning, and he almost decides to go back to sleep when he catches sight of Hakyeon in his own futon and it's only then everything he went through flooded right back into him. 

His feet immediately set off, scampering to shake Hakyeon awake, hearing him groan, and his hands find Hakyeon’s face, making sure his sleepy eyes look straight back into his. 

“Taekwoon what the fuck is going—” 

  


“I want to do it with you.”

  


Hakyeon looks back at him with hooded eyes, his eyelids still too heavy to make sense of what he's saying, but Taekwoon goes on. 

“I want to experience winning our first music award with you, I want to go through the feeling of being so overjoyed I ended up carrying you on stage even if started to hurt my back—I want the whole world to know how beautiful you are and how much more beautiful you can be when you dance, when you control the rhythm of the music at your fingertips and you yourself know that in that moment, everyone has their eyes on you.”

All of the words he's held back from saying from his time skips suddenly start flushing out of his mouth, and he's unable to control it when he's this desperate to keep Hakyeon right where he is. 

“I want—I want to reach the day where even if you weren't next to me, I'll have tomorrow to look forward to because at the end of the day I know you will come back to me.”

And of course, Hakyeon, that dumbass, only gapes his mouth open and closed as he really tries his best to make of what the hell Taekwoon is saying in the early hours of the morning. 

Finally, however, he starts to move and the first thing he does is to flick Taekwoon's forehead soundly that has the younger reeling in pain. 

“Ow—what the hell did I do!?”

“Well, for one, you literally woke me up at four in the morning just for all this nonsense as if I'm quitting the goddamn group. Two, I said I was just stepping down from the position, I didn't say I'm _quitting_ , Taekwoon. Third of all, you're such an idiot for worrying all about this since last night, I can't believe you went to bed thinking about—”

“Of course I'd worry about you…? Hakyeon, fun fact, I care about you. And I still believe that you're the best person who could fit the role better than anybody else.”

Sighing, Hakyeon settles his hand down his blanket, and he tries not to be so stressed so early in the morning. 

“We've been through this,” he urges, unable to hide how strained he's become from arguing about this, “I told you I'm not fit—”

“It's okay,” Taekwoon cuts him off before he could berate himself further, “it’s gonna be okay, Hakyeon. ”

He probably shouldn’t be saying all of these just because he’s relying on some flimsy dream, but it’s enough to make him optimistic and that should be enough, right?

“You don’t have to be the best leader out there,” he goes on, taking Hakyeon’s hand in his and squeezing it tight. “You’ll grow along with us. It doesn’t matter if you make wrong decisions, at the end of the day, you chose it with us in mind.”

Hakyeon looks at him in the eyes, searching, if he’s doubtful or if he’s lying, but Taekwoon is sincere. He wants the best for him more than anyone.

“... You mean it?” He eventually asks him, slowly and soft as if he’s scared to break the moment, “even if I make mistakes? Or I’m not good enough?”

“Of course, stupid,” Taekwoon flicks his nose, maybe a little bit like revenge from flicking his forehead earlier, “how can you grow if you don’t make mistakes?”

Perhaps Hakyeon really has been holding up his feelings for so long, as he melts against Taekwoon’s arms and for once, letting out the tears he’s been holding back since the beginning.

“It’s okay,” the younger continues to say, patting his back soothingly as he feels Hakyeon’s hot tears fall down on his shoulder, “don’t worry about a thing.”

  


  


They still have a long way to go… And Taekwoon is ready to see it to the end with him.

  


  


  


  


( + **special** )

Taekwoon’s scrolling on his Twitter feed when he comes across a tweet with a video of them winning their first award with Voodoo Doll, and he smiles as he watches his past, young self collapse to the ground as he’s unable to hold back crying in front of the camera.

Funnily enough, Taekwoon gets a distant feeling while looking at it and vaguely remembers how there was a night so many years ago where he fought with Hakyeon and went to sleep anxious, only for him to dream of so many coincidentally accurate events that happened in his life so far.

Without much thought, he puts his phone aside and drags open a drawer, and pulls out a paper and pen.

Smiling, he starts to write.

  


_Hakyeonnie,_

_I missed you a lot today too. How have you been? Have you been eating and sleeping well? I just finished my solo concerts recently. I’ve been very good! Wonshik finally opened his own label, and Hongbin finally moved out of the dorm, so it’s been really quiet save for when Jaehwan’s home. I’m thinking of moving too, but I think I’d prefer it if I moved into your flat instead. Do you think they’ll think too much about it if I said I’m moving in with you?_

_You know, I just remembered something. Remember when you were so annoyingly adamant how you wanted to step down from being the leader six-seven years ago? And then we ended up fighting before bed… Well, before I woke you at four am that morning, did you know that I actually ended up…_

  


And it goes on from there. Taekwoon’s life has always gone on with Hakyeon.

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by [besa](https://twitter.com/navyshiningoId) <3333333 i lab u take care dumbass
> 
> this was so stressful to write and i finally realised why -> taekwoon centric JNFDJBGJBGJ i need to accept the fact that i'll always have a hard time writing that old thot
> 
> OK BUT! sorry if some parts sounds so gritty than others i wrote some parts of this not really feeling it and other times REALY REALLY EMOTIONAL so it's so inconsistent :(
> 
> also this isn't connected to my previous time travelling fic, but,,, damb,,, time traveller taekwoon rise
> 
> anyway talk to me on twt!
> 
>  **twitter** : @[ieejaehwans](https://twitter.com/Ieejaehwans)


End file.
